Since I have all but ignored the other child due to the others lack of interest in doing school work. I decided to help him (AFTER he asked) with learning the 27 amendments.
Before I am critiqued on my spelling and grammar, may I just say, in my own defense, it was really late, I was really tired, and I had just done Sudoku with a very UNHAPPY child.
So here it is. My take on learning the 27 amendments.
To: b
Subject: amendments study sheet
Date: Thu, 4 Oct 2012 Time: VERY late
The first 10 are known as the Bill of Rights
1. free speech! No ONE can tell me how to worship
2. I have TWO guns because I have the right to bear arms
3. There are THREE people already living in my house so NO soldiers can be quartered here
4. There are FOUR doors in my house and you can't enter any of them without a warrant.
5. I can have FIVE attorneys if I want them because I get the right to a fair trial and if you mess up, you can't send me to trial again.
6. I'd like the SIX minute trial please because I have the right to a speedy and fair trial
7. I can't lose my SEVEN dollars so I have the right to a jury in a civil case if I could lose money.
8. The government can't make me pay EIGHT billion dollars for bail. Fines must be fair and there can be no cruel or unusual punishments inflicted.
9. Sorry, but the government can't claim that I only have the "NINE" rights listed in the Bill of Rights, ok, it's not just the "nine", but the government still can't claim that no matter the number.
10. I can tell you in TEN seconds why it is better for the States to have more power than the federal government. Too bad Obama doesn't think that.
11. ELEVEN people from California wanted to sue the State of UTAH in a federal court. Guess what? They can't. Has to be a State court.
12. On November 6 each electoral officer has two separate votes. One for the President and one for the Vice President. They cannot be on the same ballot. By the way, 2 ballots x the 6th of November = TWELVE :)
13. THIRTEEN million slaves are freed by this amendment, because it abolishes slavery. Go Lincoln!!!
14. The FOURTEENTH amendments gives me rights as an American Citizen. I have FOURTEEN ways to purse life, liberty and property.. ok there are probably more, but FOURTEEN is good for now.
15. The FIFTEEN people behind me have a right to vote, even if they aren't white.
16. Congress has the right to tax me for SIXTEEN percent of my income... ha ha ha ha. more like Thirty percent, but SIXTEEN percent of taxes made me feel better.
17. I don't care if your man has SEVENTEEN ways to be a great senator. The state legislature can't elect him. Only the people of the state get to elect him. and he can't be SEVENTEEN.
18. You may be EIGHTEEN years old, but the sale, production and transportation of liquor is still illegal.
19. Women have the right to Vote! NINETEEN women will be ahead of you in line when you go to vote because they got up earlier, at NINETEEN hundred hours (1900) which is equivalent to 7:00 p.m.,, which doesn't really work here, but whatever, now you have WOMAN+VOTE+NINETEEN in your head FOREVER. :)
20. There will be at least TWENTY lame ducks in office dude - which is why you are being ousted on January 20th. Goodbye OBAMA! (We hope) - otherwise we will be TWENTY days and FOUR more years of ...
21. Guess what? TWENTY ONE year olds get to drink again because this amendment repelled the 18th. Now we have TWENTY ONE million alcoholics. Way to go government. Good move.
22. This amendment limits the president to TWO-TWO terms. Oops, I stuttered. Sorry, just TWO-two terms. That is 8 years in case you are thinking about OBAMA again, so if you used math: half of eight is four and it takes 2+2 to get to four, which is all Obama has left if he is reelected...THAT amendment is TWENTY TWO in case that was confusing...
23. You know those TWENTY THREE million people that live in the TWENTY THREE counties in the District of Columbia? They get to vote. Whoever said they couldn't in the first place is TWENTY THREE kinds of stupid. :)
24. This amendment prohibits the Poll Tax in federal elections. If you only made TWENTY FOUR dollars a week, you couldn't pay for a Poll Tax so you couldn't vote. The smart people in this country cried foul and said even those who only have TWENTY FOUR cents should still be able to vote, so you can't charge them! Not even TWENTY FOUR cents.
25. In 1973 Nixon and his VP Spiro Agnew made a mess of the office of the Pres and VP. Did you even know about the guy named Spiro? Me neither. Anyway because of the 25th amendment, the VP takes over when the president is unable... this is a stretch, but the 2+5 of the TWENTY FIFTH amendment = 7 of 1973 when perhaps the two worst people in America were the VP and President of the country (except for 2012, but that's another blog post). By they way, 5-2=3, of 1973... okay, this is just bad.. By the way, Spiro resigned a year BEFORE Nixon resigned (charged with accepting bribes), then the President resigned... so who was left you ask? Well, Nixon named Ford as the VP and when Nixon left Ford became president. And that my friend is why we love the TWENTY FIFTH amendment.
26. The voting age is now 18. (2+6=8) - get it? :) - add in a one and you get 18 which is the new voting age... okay... it's late!!!! cut me some slack.
27. I am your senator (representative, etc.) I want a $27,000 raise while I'm in office. Too bad! you can't have a raise while in office. NOT EVEN TWENTY SEVEN cents! Raises can be put into effect after your term is OVER!
Thus you have your 27 amendments. :)
I am VERY sleepy. It is 11:57 p.m. By the way, do you remember the 5th amendment???... I can have five attorneys if I want them, because.... the 7th amendment??? - You can't take my $7 dollars without a jury...the 11th amendment?... I'll give you a hint... 11 people from CA tried to sue Utah in a federal...
Love,
Mom
p.s. YES a lot of the numbers are made up. Get over it! Except the amendment numbers. Those are right :)
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